I thought that since I’m attending #Blogher12 this week, I should really be a better blogger. Before the move and all of my life chaos (which is for the better), I was blogging every Friday. I will have to get back to that when I start back to a real life schedule next Monday! I’m actually super excited to be starting this new job and new professional adventure so even though we said we wouldn’t blog about librarianship, I might make some work related, management type entries. But, I digress. Of course I do.
I have a lot of big life changes going on. I mean, I moved 1400 miles, am trying to sell a house, starting a new job, and making a huge break and changes in my life. I rarely talk about relationships, but I think I might be throwing in a blog or two here and there about that chapter of my life to purge myself and feel better. Isn’t that what blogging is partially for? But, yeah, I’m not ready for that yet. What I am ready for is to acknowledge that I deserved better and will never ever again settle in my life; not in relationships, not in jobs, not in friendships. I’ve always been the person to excuse people’s bad behavior, or lack of trying, but I refuse to be that person anymore. Every friendship and relationship is give and take. I am a giver, but I won’t settle for emotional or physical laziness or apathy or anything like that anymore.
(Warning: this paragraph is related to female health and, well, I won’t be offended if men skip it.) Physically, 2012 has been rather painful for me. I’ve called it the UTERUS REBELLION OF 2012. In January, I was diagnosed with uterine fibroids. I have five fibroids slowly growing in my uterus. I found a doctor I really liked back in Texas and we ruled out anything as bad as cancer. But, what I’ve learned with three doctors now is that they try many things before they will actually remove your uterus. SIGH. (I’m being dramatic. I know that would have awful side effects as well.) But, for months before I suffered every month for about 10-14 days with severe pain, plus often I would get a migraine, too. I mean, this is the kind that keeps you in bed. And my periods were more like two weeks of severe hemorrhaging. My first doctor prescribed some extra strength ibuprofen; my second doctor prescribed birth control pills that made me very sick (the idea being to lessen the period and then, therefore, the bleeding and pain); then I finally found a third doctor who actually took the time to send me for scans and helped me find a BC pill that, at least, didn’t make me sicker. What these horrible periods did was interfere entirely with my life and I laid in bed at night for days. The pill prescription has done a lot to alleviate symptoms, but it’s not a cure. I want them removed. And I want off the pill. In the first three months of the pill, I gained fifteen pounds. UGH. So I feel like a super fat ass. I mean, I am a curvy girl and have never been skinny but come on. *WHINE* It’s sort of ironic that poor Bitchy can’t gain weight and I can in a heartbeat. Plus, I am in my late thirties. I don’t want to be on the pill forever. The last time I was on it, I had complications, so I am on the lowest, low dose possible, which means I literally have to take it at the same time every day or I breakthrough bleed. And while I only have a day or two of severe pain, it is still debilitating. But, another positive thing about my relocation is that there is a really, really excellent specialist here who deals with other treatment options (like removal) of uterine fibroids, so I will be seeing her in a few weeks. Keep your fingers crossed.
I feel like such a baby whining about things like super bad periods when there are people with way worse problems than me, but it is so disruptive to my life. And what’s weird is that doctors seem so reluctant to prescribe actual pain medication to deal with pain. When I asked for pain meds, the doctor urged me to keep trying another month on just the pill. Well, yes, the duration of the pain is less but not the pain itself. It is certainly better to have only 48 hours of excruciating pain instead of two weeks, but I find this fairly unacceptable. And feeling like a fat ass right before BlogHer totally sucks, but whatever. I will wear cute shoes and dresses and try my best to be adorable.
Yeah, so how to you wrap up a post like this? HERE IS TO HEALTHY UTERUSES! Well, seroiusly, despite the tone of this post, I feel oddly positive and hopeful about the future. I am hoping that it will eventually be pain free and healthier. And free of people who are pains in the ass, too