On Attention Whoring and Being a Sex Kitten

This post is one that’s been brewing in my head for awhile but I’ve been struggling with how to express it without calling anyone out or making it *seem* personal. For me, the hardest part about blogging has been deciding whether to blog the crap that’s swirling around in my head or try to be more organized about it, like I am when I write my seriously boring professional journal articles. But, since I haven’t blogged in forever and a day and I am going to the BlogHer conference, I figured I should learn to just spew it. So, here goes.

The thing is, I used to be quite an attention whore on the Twitter. I KNOW THIS IS SHOCKING TO HEAR. And there are probably some who think I still am. I post pictures that are the sexy, for sure. But, I don’t do it for *more* attention than I already have. Anymore.

The truth is, I AM NOT A SEX KITTEN. And I try not to portray myself that way anymore because I am happier in my life, generally speaking. There was a time in the infancy of winelibrarian that I got quite a kick out of the male attention and it sort of fed this cycle of attention whoring. Guys would say how hot I was, I would say something back, post something, etc. To be honest, I liked having my ego fed. Hell, I liked having an ego. I wasn’t in a relationship at the time where I felt like I was appreciated or sexy or really feeling half as good as I do now about myself and my life. But what I’ve learned is, I don’t need to be in a relationship to be smart, independent, and sexy. I am more content now, regardless.

So, why I am blogging this anyway then? Because now, I feel like when I see this cycle happening, and happening much worse than I think it did for me, I want to unfollow/block people on the Twitter but I can’t. Partially, I feel bad that people I had once befriended now make me want to hurl with their level of grossness in their attention whoring and also partially because I am an evil person that enjoys watching a train wreck.

What? At least I’m honest.

I guess, in the end, I wanted to apologize to the people I’ve offended with my own bad behavior…though mine was truly not as bad as some that I’ve seen. But, I also wanted to say that the ground rules have changed. I don’t mind the flirting here or there. But I do mind being treated like a Twitter sex object. I am not one. Don’t tell me to spank bitchylibrarian in the morning. We only do that after drinking. Engage me in conversation, be smart, be snarky if you need to, but if you just want sexy pictures or porn, there’s an Internet for that and it isn’t over here. I don’t want to be on lists that say “HOTT” or “SEXY.” I want to be on lists that say, SMART, FUNNY, ADORABLE, because that’s closer to the truth.

This may piss some people off, but whatever. When has that stopped me? Listen, ladies. If you’re unhappy, change your life. Flirting with men on Twitter and thinking that will do it, will not. (Sometimes they are not even men! HAHA!) If you want attention and act like a whore, don’t be surprised when they treat you like one. Also, try and get some self respect back. No one constantly wants to see your tits or hear about your vag. Seriously.

Me? I’m happy to go back to just being a friendly, cute, librarian who is sometimes serious about news or politics and doesn’t really care what you think anyway. ;)

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13 Responses to “On Attention Whoring and Being a Sex Kitten”

  1. Bitchy Librarian says:


    You have said everything I’ve wanted to say. EVERYTHING.

  2. John says:

    Oh, watching a trainwreck is something special, isn’t it?

    I, personally, enjoy the more confident winelibrarian . . . even if it means fewer of the sexy pictures. With both you & Bitchy, there is a sense of a smile when you’re writing & tweeting, and that makes some of us happy, with just that knowledge. And maybe horny — but, well, some of us are perverts (and, really, there are few things sexier than a sincere smile)

  3. BrewingLibMan says:

    Well said, very well said. I think that there are few things as attractive as a smart, strong woman and you & @bitchylibrarian are good examples. Hope you enjoy BlogHer more than you did ALA (and I suspect you will).

  4. KeAnne says:

    Excellent post. I enjoyed the, um, rowdier Wine Librarian and Bitchy Librarian, but I like both of you so much more now because you are real. Good for you!

  5. Yeti D says:

    Ok, that was supposed to be a friendly smile, but once it posted it looked pervy. How do internet?

  6. DR Perrrro says:

    You are one of the first persons I put on my “Sharp Ladies” list & there you will always be. I’m keeping you on my “Sizzzzzzle” list too though ~ it’s OK to be smart AND sexy.

    Excellent post, as always. Thanks for sharing!

    • Wine Librarian says:

      Hahaha. That’s fine. I should clarify that I get offended when people don’t interact with me and expect me to be some sort of sex kitten for them.

  7. Lou Lange says:

    You and Bitchy are two funny, sassy women. You know how to “play to the crowd”/ And we all adjust when you realize, Winey, that you may have taken things too far. When you cancatand up and do that, for me, it just increases the respect and friendship I feel for both of you. I hope you enjoy BlogHer.