My Attitude Adjustment

Wow, my first blog post all by myself! I’ve had a few Twitter followers ask me what’s up with the new attitude so I thought I’d blog about it. Isn’t that what this thing is for?

Here’s the deal. Everyone has baggage and bullshit that can drag them down every day. There’s job stress, family conflicts, personal relationships, financial strain. We can let that grab a hold and take over. You let little things bother you and they build up. You surround yourself with like-minded people who are the dark grey clouds and want to breed unhappiness. Those feelings and people can block out all of your sunshine if you let them. I think that was happening to me a lot. If I sit and think about it, it was usually over things I cannot control (coworkers being less than cooperative, for example), but unhappiness can also have a domino effect. First, you let the annoying coworker totally get to you, then someone calls in sick and you have to find coverage, next a student emails you with a complete bullshit excuse for missing class, and then you’re having serious rage issues over your latte being not quite flavored correctly. And, while most of my days were not filled with all of those things (well, actually they probably were), letting that negativity build up breeds more of it.

It reminds me of why my grandmother once told me when I was very small that she didn’t eat in the teacher’s lunchroom because “you’ll come in happy and hate your life by the end of the day.”

So, while on vacation for a week and away from people and things that were totally bringing me down, I had the opportunity to reevaluate my attitude. I have a lot to be thankful for and happy about. And the things that are the negatives? Well, let’s just say they’re all getting the purge this year, if they haven’t already. Goodbye negative bullshit that drags me down. From now on, I am going to try and be happier and more positive and that’s the kind of people I want in my life, which is actually a lot closer to a realistic representation of me, the person, instead of the image some of you have as me, the winelibrarian. I have a lot to be happy about. I love my friends and my family and there’s also the fact that my dog didn’t have to be put to sleep over Christmas vacation. I bitch a lot about work stuff because that’s what everyone does. But, I need to remember to put that in perspective because at least I have a job and I’m successfully moving up a career ladder in my profession.

What was the catalyst? It was a lot of things, but the end of 2011 sort of snapped me out of thinking I had to play along with people’s expectations of me. Not that I was ever big into caring what people thought of me–take it or leave it–but I think I have sometimes fallen into a negative group think around some people, which really calls for more purging. Moving on from things you once cherished and people you once loved is hard, but sometimes so healthy and necessary.

I hope that clears it up enough if you even cared to wonder what was up. I’m just trying to be a little bit more of a “real” version of myself in winelibrarian, which was also the reason I briefly had a picture of my face in an avatar. I’ve come to really care a lot about many of my Twitter friends and I want to be more me and personal as the year goes on. Consider 2012 the year of the revelations of the winelibrarian, slowly but surely.

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10 Responses to “My Attitude Adjustment”

  1. JP says:

    Excellent post. I sincerely wish you the best of luck maintaining your positive attitude.

  2. winelibrarian says:

    Thank you :) I won’t need luck though.

  3. Melody says:

    Beautiful. This is one of the best things you can do to lighten your mood and better your life. Granted, venting can still make you feel great when you need a righteous angst purge ^.^

  4. vodkaandlemons says:

    Nice. It’s always good to be self aware. Sorry you are having stalker problems today. Do I need to cut a bitch? Hope you have a better day!

    • winelibrarian says:

      Sad people do sad things. Thanks for the kind words. If it continues to be a problem, I will take care of it. Thank you :)

  5. I really enjoyed the blog post, especially the part about “raging” over the latte. I had a similar realization a number of years ago. It seemed the people I choose to hang out with only wanted to do one thing, complain. If they didn’t have anything bad in their lives to complain about, they would simply go on hate filled political rants. I wasn’t in a bad mood, nor did I want to be, and I just couldn’t derive any joy from misery, so I moved on.

    On an unrelated note, I really like the design of your blog. I think it is going to be a good one!

  6. Wine Librarian says:

    Thank you!! You are always so nice to us :) Yes, rage is not healthy. Let go of the rage.

  7. John says:

    I know they say that you attract more flies with sugar than vinegar, but I never understood why anyone wanted to attract flies.

    I will say this to the “be positive” attitude . . . while I hate thinking of any feelings as forced, life is whole lot better when you think that Winey might be smiling.

    • Wine Librarian says:

      The thing is that I think dwelling on the negative is actually more forced for me. :) Thanks John, this totally made me smile and gush a little.