Dear Attention Whores

Dear Attention Whores,

Stop it. You’re embarrassing yourselves and making me feel uncomfortable. Pointing out that you have boobs is not going to make people like you. Sure, someone who appreciates your boobs may take you home for the night, but that’s about all you’re going to get out of it. Maybe you think that’s what you want, but the more it happens, the more attention you crave.

And stop trying to compete with other females for what you perceive to be a “good guy.” If you put two or more women who crave attention in the same room, it gets even worse. They play off each other’s insecurities and try to out-do the other. Honestly, I feel like I’m watching a National Geographic documentary when I see two females competing with each other over the same man or men. If only Morgan Freeman was there to narrate your desperate bids for attention. That would make everything that much better.

I know this may seem pretty hypocritical coming from me, someone who was likely considered quite the attention whore until just about a year ago, but the more I see women fall all over themselves to out-boob each other and compete for men, the more annoyed I become. I think part of my annoyance stems from the fact that I fear that’s how I used to portray myself and it disgusts me. Was I the girl basically yelling “BOOBS. LOOK AT MY BOOBS. I HAVE BOOBS. BOOBS!” at every moment I could? I sincerely hope not, but I know my behavior was pretty annoying anyway.

I’m just so over that kind of behavior. It isn’t funny. It isn’t cute. It makes it hard to like you. All it does is make you look desperate and like you have no personality. I may be more sensitive to attention whoring because I’ve been there and now watching people act a certain way makes me really uncomfortable. I just have no patience for people who act like this, though I know I should be more understanding since I’ve been there before.

I realize that this post could be perceived that I’m jealous of the attention other girls get. Believe me, if I wanted that kind of attention, I could (and have) easily command it. The attention I got when I was regularly showing off my body was empty and short-lived, which is why I had to keep posting more and more pictures of myself. The more attention you get, the faster it wears off and you need more, more, more. Attention from someone who actually cares about you? Yeah, that’s something completely different.

So now, I present to you, Bitchy’s Tips for Not Being an Attention Whore:

Just be yourself. I want people to like me because I am intelligent, kind, and I have a sense of humor. The fact that I have boobs shouldn’t even be a factor, though they are a nice touch. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like attention, but I no longer crave attention from EVERYONE in the world.

Like yourself. If you’re unhappy with any aspect of yourself or your life, the attention you get is a way of masking your unhappiness. Flaunting yourself is a crutch for the things you believe you are lacking. As soon as I made changes in my life for the better, my need for attention just disappeared.

Don’t get caught up in a competition. Don’t let others influence how you behave. Just because someone you’re out with is whoring herself out for attention, it doesn’t mean you have to do the same in order to compete for the attention she’s getting. Do you really want that kind of attention anyway? If a person can’t like you for who you are, no amount of boob flashing is going to change that.

Not every outing is an opportunity to meet someone to date. You know that old saying, “Love finds you when you’re not looking for it”? Keep that in mind. Actively seeking out a connection with every person you encounter is no way to actually meet someone. And the people you do meet while flashing your boobs everywhere aren’t going to be the type of people who will stick around.

Some people just aren’t interested. If someone isn’t acknowledging your existence, no amount of putting food in your boobs or dancing on a chair is going to change that. Sure, they might appreciate your assets, but that’s as far as it goes.

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8 Responses to “Dear Attention Whores”

  1. Amber says:

    I love it and like you, I fall into the been there/done that category. I still do like a drug relapse. I’ll go weeks or months trying to socialize (online and in person) and when I don’t have boobs sticking out, I’m invisible. No one ever talks to me. As soon as I’m topless, I’m “interesting.” I don’t get it. I’m the same person that five minutes ago was ignored.

    • Bitchy Librarian says:

      Christ. It sounds like you’re hanging out around the wrong people. If all they can see is a pair of boobs, you need to find a new social circle that’s never seen your boobs before, who can appreciate you for who you truly are.

  2. Chris says:

    This post would have been better if you had a picture of your boobs in it. Just sayin…

    OK, so from a red-blooded guy’s perspective I understand and agree with everything you have just said. I like boobs. I really do. I even like it when girls show their boobs to me regardless of their reasons. I certainly will give them some of my attention if they do. I may even complement them. I will not however respect them even one tiny, little bit. Respect is earned only through their noggin.

    • Bitchy Librarian says:

      I hope every attention whore in the world reads your comment.

      Being complimented and thought of as attractive is completely different from actually respecting someone.

      Hahaha, wouldn’t putting a picture of my boobs in completely defeat the purpose of the post? ;)

      • Chris says:

        I’m pretty sure if there was a picture of your boobs in the post I would have come back to view it several times. I might have even read it again which of course is the intent of the post. So…. more boobs.

  3. I’m sorry, I stopped reading after boobs.

    Actually, I was half-afraid this post was directed directly toward me.

    As someone who has received the . . . . let’s call them “advances” . . . . of people who enjoy male attention (but, as someone who believes he has the ability to place a line between “getting to know someone” and “using pictures of someone’s boobs”), it’s difficult to feel sympathy when someone gets hurt when the object of your “outgoingness” uses that “outgoingness” as he would use porn. By no means do I say “stop showing your boobs,’ because, well, I like looking at your boobs — but creating something meaningful when every time you chat with a guy, he only ever wants to see more of you . . . well, he’s using you like he uses a porn site, and if you want more with him, think differently.

    • Bitchy Librarian says:

      Oh goodness no, John. If I ever had a problem with you, I’d speak with you directly, not hide it in a passive-aggressive blog post! ;)

      But yes, you put it exactly right. There’s no way to create something meaningful with someone who just sees you as a set of tits and only talks to you to see more of you.

  4. Lou Lange says:

    Straight up and to the point. I hope that people who it may be directed to see themselves and get a clue!